Don’t Talk About Yourself
by Micky Galloway
We are told that Solomon “spake three thousand proverbs; and his songs were a thousand and five” (I Kings 4:32). Men of all ages have had their favorite sayings (some have affectionately been called “Mickyisms”). All are generally brief, but hopefully have some meaning and practical application. Especially do we see this in the wise “sayings” of the inspired writers. The apostle Paul says, “Faithful is the saying, and worthy of all acceptation…” (I Timothy 1:15; 4:9). These great truths are needed for everyday living, and they need to be well worded, committed to memory and used to guard us from sin. “Thy word have I laid up in my heart, that I might not sin against thee” (Psalms 119:11).
The book of Proverbs is designed to help us make wise decisions about our lives. In the first few verses of Proverbs, we find the purpose of the book. “To know wisdom and instruction; To discern the words of understanding; To receive instruction in wise dealing, In righteousness and justice and equity; To give prudence to the simple, To the young man knowledge and discretion: That the wise man may hear, and increase in learning; And that the man of understanding may attain unto sound counsels” (Proverbs 1:1-5).
Again in the Proverbs, we learn another practical lesson of life. “Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth; A stranger, and not thine own lips” (Proverbs 27:2).
Do not talk about yourself. The characteristics of love are stated in I Corinthians 13:4-5. Actually four phrases in this text relate to our proverb. Love “vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not its own.” Vaunting yourself is boasting. Being puffed up is conceited thinking. Not behaving unseemly is gracious and courteous conduct; and seeking not your own is being more interested in the things of others than your own things. Boasting or vaunting of one’s own excellencies or endowments is not good. This was one of the besetting sins of Romans 1:30, “… insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, without understanding, covenant-breakers, without natural affection, unmerciful.” These are spoken of as being worthy of death. Think and talk about others and their things. Ask questions about the welfare of others, rather than telling your situation, difficulties, abilities, or blessings. As has been mentioned in a previous article, my Dad loved honey, (couldn't get enough). One day he bought a whole quart of honey and went out behind the store and ate the whole quart. Of course it made him sick and to the day he died, he despised honey. As too much honey will make you sick, self-promotion is also sickening. “It is not good to eat much honey: So (for men) to search out their own glory is grievous” (Proverbs 25:27).
They who praise themselves see themselves as the experts. They become masters at slipping in their opinions, experiences, expertise, and personal wisdom. But those who are gracious sincerely inquire about the welfare of others. Neglecting themselves, they are always commending others, pursuing them, and praising them. After all, it is the Lord’s praise that counts, not your own. Paul said in II Corinthians 10:12-18, “For we are not bold to number or compare ourselves with certain of them that commend themselves: but they themselves, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves with themselves, are without understanding … But he that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord. For not he that commendeth himself is approved, but whom the Lord commendeth.”
They who promote and praise themselves create strife. Paul said, “Make full my joy, that ye be of the same mind, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind;(doing) nothing through faction or through vainglory, but in lowliness of mind each counting other better than himself; not looking each of you to his own things, but each of you also to the things of others” (Philippians 2:2-4). As we have said before, “Wouldn’t that cure a lot of ills?”
A good name is a noble goal, if achieved through the right means. “A (good) name is rather to be chosen than great riches, (And) loving favor rather than silver and gold” (Proverbs 22:1). It will be established by the perception of others as they see your humble and gracious deeds. Deserving the praise of men is one thing. Timothy was praised by Paul, “For I have no man likeminded, who will care truly for your state” (Philippians 2:20). We should desire such a noble reputation. However, self-promotion eventually brings shame. The only righteous way to obtain the praise of others is to earn it. We live in a society where almost everything is praised and rewarded. We certainly do not want to lessen “self esteem.” The result is to create a generation who is conceited. Some are never taught how to lose and to graciously reward those who have earned it.
Parents, teach your children the wisdom and virtue of not talking about themselves. Teach them the grace of inquiring about others as much as possible. You will do more for their success before God and men than pursuing the top score in any academic or athletic course.
