The Next Generation

by Steven Harper

It has been my experience that many children raised by parents who are Christians do not follow in the steps of their parents. I have seen congregations with a generation of younger folks numbering about 20 [out of about 80 attending] see only three of those 20 become Christians and remain faithful. I have seen congregations where certain families had worked hard to establish the congregation, and worked hard through the years to fend off various errors and stand for the truth, only then have to see that their dedication to the Lord was not upheld by the third generation. I have seen congregations lose all their children to the world and have no one to carry on the local work, because none were willing to follow the Lord.

The reasons vary as to why so many do not follow in the steps of faithfulness of the previous generation. Some of the younger folks who leave the Lord, or who simply never obey, will only say they just don’t believe the gospel message. Some will point to hypocritical parents who put on a religious face to the world, but did not live their faith at home. Others will say that they just never received any instruction from their parents, though they went with them “to church” all the time they lived at home. It would be unfair to say there is any one cause for our children not following in our steps as we strive to serve the Lord, but we should consider all the reasons and consider ourselves, as parents, to make sure we are not giving them an excuse to not believe and obey the Lord.

If we are interested in leading our children to the Lord and saving their souls, we need to take the job of parenting very seriously – a lot more seriously – and do whatever we can to ensure we are doing all we can to bring them to Christ. We must ensure we are doing nothing that would be a cause for them to disbelieve or turn away from Him. As I say this, though, I want all parents to understand that, sometimes, even when you have done all you can do, your children still may either never obey the gospel or become unfaithful even after their conversion. If there was an absolutely fail-safe way to guarantee they would be saved, we would all be doing exactly that. We would have read about it in God’s word somewhere, with the wise writer, Jesus, or Paul giving some explicit instructions to parents that child-rearing must be done in this particular way. But, while there is no “magic” answer to ensuring our children become faithful Christians, there are some things we can do that go a long way in leading them to faithfulness.

Love Your Children Unconditionally. I want to be clear in this that I am not saying that parents should overlook their children’s faults and sins or make excuses for their behavior; that is not love. Far too many parents do this to their children and the only thing that the children learn is that they can do whatever they want and their parents will justify it. Again, that is not love at all.

What I mean when I say parents must love their children unconditionally is that we must love them as God loves us. Let us never forget that God loved us while we were sinners (Romans 5:8) and though we were all guilty of sin (Romans 3:23). When all the world had turned against Him, He still loved us enough to send His Son to die for us that we might believe and have eternal life (John 3:16).

When our children fail, let us continue to love them, and let them know – out of love for their souls – that we cannot approve of sin and that we will never excuse it, and they need to repent of their sins if they want to be right with God. Even while they are away from the Lord, let them know that we still love them and want them to do what is right, and let them also know that God still loves them. Let us be the parents that are like the father of the Prodigal Son, waiting and watching for the return of the wayward son, and who genuinely and fully welcomes them back when they return (cf. Luke 15:20ff).

Be An Example For Them To Follow. I once saw a sign on the edge of a small town that had a message I wish more parents would learn and follow: “There is nothing worse than good instruction followed by a bad example.” You see, parents, you can never tell your children, “Do as I say, not as I do,” and ever hope to see them follow the Lord faithfully! I am constantly amazed at parents who may not say it explicitly, but live as if it will somehow be believed. Parents who do not live the faith cannot realistically expect that their children will listen to a word they say about the necessity of following the Lord; children learn by observing, and what they observe in their parents’ lives will have a greater impact than their words.

In His condemnation of the scribes and Pharisees, Jesus told the people, “Therefore whatever they tell you to observe, that observe and do, but do not do according to their works; for they say, and do not do” (Matthew 23:3); He called them “hypocrites” because of this! Let us not be examples of hypocrisy to our children, but let us live the faith we claim to follow!

Teach Them Jesus. I left this for last because this is how it should be. If we do not first genuinely and unconditionally love them, and unless we are living a life of faithfulness, this part will not make a lot of difference. Even if we teach them Jesus, without love and without them seeing Christ living in us, our words will be meaningless to them.

And, first of all, let me emphasize the need for you, as the parent, to do the actual teaching. Don’t assume the Bible class teacher is going to do it all, and certainly do not blame the Bible class teacher when your child either does not believe, or falls away later in life. If you, the parent, do not teach them, you can blame no one but yourself. Fathers, you have been given the specific duty to “bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4); are you doing that? That doesn’t mean bring them “to church” so someone else can do it; it means you need to do it! You, as a parent, have a greater impact on your child than anyone else, and if they don’t ever hear from you, they will wonder why and they may just never see it as something that is important.

Secondly, take the time to teach them about Jesus – who He was, what He did, and why He came to this earth. Show them the proofs He presented in the signs, wonders, and miracles. Show them how He fulfilled prophecies so that one day, they will put it all together and be convicted that it is true and that He is worthy of following (John 20:30-31). If and when we do this, they will follow Jesus not because they are simply following us, but because it is the right thing to do.

The world in which we live is not getting any friendlier to our children and no less a spiritual danger. If we truly love our children, let’s love them enough to lead them to the Savior, Jesus Christ; teach them about who He is and what He has done for us. But before we do, make sure we set the example for them to follow and that if they simply live as we live, they will end up following Jesus, too. Through it all, love them – and make sure they know we love them. Don’t assume they know, don’t assume that if we “bring them to church” they will eventually become a child of God, and don’t assume they will be faithful just because we are [if we are].

Let’s raise our children so that they will bring others to Christ, and that the next generation will, too.