"Is It Lawful For A Man To Divorce His Wife For Any Cause At All?" – Matthew 19:3

by Chris Simmons and Micky Galloway

Though asked with ulterior motives, the Pharisees ask a very important question with serious ramifications in Matthew 19:3. "And some Pharisees came to Him, testing Him, and saying, 'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause at all?'" In the following verses (4-9), Jesus makes it clear that the answer to their question is "NO"! Yet, unscriptural divorces and remarriages are a growing problem in society and in the church. Most all of us have been touched by this sorrow in one way or another. False theories are spreading rapidly. Debates and various books filled with error are circulating. We are forced to study and restudy this vital subject. We must refute error and stand for truth in order to save our souls and our families. I Peter 4:11 teaches us to speak where the Bible speaks and be silent where the Bible is silent.

It is important, as we begin this article, to note the sacredness and sanctity of the marriage state and to call attention to the lightness and frivolity with which it is violated in the world, and even in the church. In Hebrews 13:4 we learn that "marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled: for fornicators and adulterers God will judge."

The origination of marriage is seen "in the beginning." "And Jehovah God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him … Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Genesis 2:18-25). Thus, "in the beginning" marriage was ordained by the God of heaven and was designed to promote human happiness and to procreate the race. The law that bound man and woman together in this relationship was the law of God, throughout all ages and throughout all dispensations of time, and is expressed in the statement, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." Jesus appealed to this universal law given "in the beginning" in answering the question asked by the Jews, "Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause" (Matthew 19:3-6). The apostle Paul refers to the same law in Ephesians chapter 5 to show the unity and relationship between Christ and the church. As this statement from "the beginning" is found in every dispensation of time, it is necessary to conclude that the law of God pertaining to marriage was a universal law, and in reality, was the will of God to all men under all ages and dispensations of time. Jesus' divine commentary on the law of God from "the beginning" was, "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (Matthew 19:6). In dealing with the subject of marriage, divorce, and remarriage, let us examine some simple questions.

Who has the right to marry? I Corinthians 7:28 says, "… if a virgin should marry, she has not sinned." Therefore, one who has never married has the privilege to get married. I Corinthians 7:39 and Romans 7:2-3 teach that one whose companion is dead may also marry another without committing adultery. Jesus stated in Matthew 19:9, "And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and he that marrieth her when she is put away committeth adultery" (ASV). From this passage, with the exception in place ("except for fornication"), we learn that one who has put away their companion for the cause of fornication may marry without committing sin.

Who has NO right to marry? Those who are already married may not marry another without committing sin. Paul taught in Romans 7:2-3, "For the married woman is bound by law to her husband while he is living … So then if, while her husband is living, she is joined to another man, she shall be called an adulteress …" Herod "had married" his brother Philip's wife. John said, "It is not lawful for you to have your brother's wife" (Mark 6:17-18). Please note that it is possible to "marry" someone who is the "wife" of another. John called this "unlawful," thus it is sinful to marry someone who is married to someone else. Those who have put away their companion for some cause other than fornication and those who are put away for fornication may not marry another. If they do the Lord called it adultery (Matthew 19:9; Matthew 5:32). One whose unbelieving mate has departed is not given the liberty to remarry. Paul's teaching in I Corinthians 7:15 does not address the marriage bond and is not teaching remarriage, but rather is teaching that we are "not under bondage" to give up Christ to please our mate, but that does not mean we are no longer married and can marry another mate. One who is a believer cannot subject his faith to an unbelieving mate any more than a slave may subject his faith to his unbelieving master.

Who may divorce and remarry? The Scriptures teach that "God hates divorce" (Malachi 2:16). Marriage is to be one man for one woman for life. The Lord offers ONLY ONE exception to this rule, "except for fornication" (Matthew 5:32; Matthew 19:9). I cannot defend those who have been divorced and remarried without the one cause that Jesus assigned. It is important that the sequence of things be noted in Matthew chapter 19. That is, according to what Jesus taught, the sequence when one may divorce and remarry is: (1) scriptural marriage, (2) fornication, (3) divorce, (4) the innocent party may remarry. Yet some today teach that the following sequence is acceptable: (1) scriptural marriage, (2) divorce, (3) fornication, (4) the innocent party can remarry. Such teaching clearly violates Jesus' command that the only scriptural divorce is when the reason of fornication precedes it, not follows after it.

The apostle Paul taught, "But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not send his wife away" (I Corinthians 7:10-11). The instructions here are simple: DO NOT DIVORCE. If you do REMAIN UNMARRIED or BE RECONCILED. Someone described here must live the rest of their life without getting married. Here the general teaching of the law concerning marriage and its sanctity is set forth and the permanent binding of the relationship is declared. When a man and a woman are married, it is God's law and His intent that they remain together until they are parted in death. There cannot be any divorce and remarriage without somebody committing sin.

Who do God's laws regarding marriage, divorce and remarriage apply to? That is, are God's laws applicable only to members of the Lord's Church or are they applicable to all mankind? Are all accountable to God in regards to issues of marriage and divorce even if they are ignorant of God's will? It is important that we consider the context of the original question asked by the Pharisees in Matthew chapter 19. Beginning in verse three of that chapter, Jesus begins to address this question of the Pharisees and by His authority states what is the rule under His reign in His kingdom in which "all things" and all people are in subjection to Him and His authority (Ephesians 1:20-23). We also must note that in response to their question, Jesus stated that the only exception for divorce applied to "whosoever." Christ does not address this only to the Jews, to "believers," or to "those in a covenant relationship to God," but rather simply states "whosoever." God's laws on marriage, divorce and remarriage apply to "whosoever."

In order to be consistent, if man is subject to the authority of Christ in one realm of the law of Christ, then man is subject in all realms. If man is not subject to God's will in one subject (such as marriage and divorce), then man is not subject to any part of the law of Christ. We can not say that man is accountable for telling the truth and not stealing, but is not accountable to God in regards to His divine decrees for the marriage relationship. The application of that consistency is found in the following passage.

An important passage in understanding that all men are accountable to the law of Christ is I Corinthians 6:9-11, "Or do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and in the Spirit of our God." This passage mentions what the sins that the brethren in Corinth (who were primarily Gentiles) committed prior to their obedience to the gospel and their becoming Christians. Specifically, Paul states that some of them were guilty of: fornication, idolatry, adultery, homosexuality, thievery, covetousness, drunkenness and swindling. Whether or not they were ignorant that such conduct was sinful in the eyes of their creator, they were indeed guilty of such. "Such were some of you." We know from passages such as Romans 4:15 (cf., Romans 5:12-13) that states "… where there is no law, neither is there transgression …" that the only way these Gentiles could be guilty of such sins before God was if they were under law from God. Specifically, one of the sins listed was that of "adultery." Some in Corinth had committed adultery before becoming washed, sanctified and justified and needed to be "washed" of their sins through repentance and baptism. As noted earlier, another example of one who was guilty of an "unlawful" marriage and condemned in the eyes of God, who was neither a Christian nor a Jew, was Herod. Though Herod and Herodias were not Christians, they were still subject to God's law as it related to marriage and divorce and thus their relationship together was "not lawful."

If one is guilty of violating God's law regarding marriage, divorce and remarriage, and is thus guilty of the sin of adultery, how does one repent of it? Repentance is stated in the scriptures as that which precedes one being baptized into Christ (Acts 2:38). To repent is to make the necessary changes to correct what is sinful in one's life. The word literally means "to change one's mind or purpose" (W. E. Vine). Paul gives an inspired definition of Biblical repentance in II Corinthians 7:9-11, "I now rejoice, not that you were made sorrowful, but that you were made sorrowful to the point of repentance; for you were made sorrowful according to the will of God, in order that you might not suffer loss in anything through us. For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation; but the sorrow of the world produces death. For behold what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong! In everything you demonstrated yourselves to be innocent in the matter." This passage helps us to understand that biblical repentance is not just feeling sorry and regretting what we did that was wrong! It also involves the idea of making things right and "avenging" the "wrong" and thus vindicating ourselves.

Again, the issue of consistency must be addressed here in that each sin that man commits must receive the same definition of repentance. For example, in the list of sins the Corinthians were engaged in, as recorded in I Corinthians 6:9ff, the homosexual, the adulterer, the fornicator, the thief, the drunk and the swindler all had to repent. Repentance and the "avenging of wrong" must fit the sin. If you've stolen, to repent, you must return what you have stolen. If you're a drunk, you must stop being in a drunken condition in order to repent. If you're a homosexual, you must stop being in a homosexual relationship if you are to repent. And if you are an adulterer, you must stop being in the relationship that makes you an adulterer. This leads me to a passage that I had to deal with in my understanding of this issue. As noted earlier in Mark 6:17-28, it is recounted how John the Baptizer lost his life. John had told him that it was not "lawful for you to have her" (his brother Philip's wife). We must then consider, if it was not lawful for Herod to "have her," if he were to repent, what must he do? In this context, according to the scripture, he must stop "having her" for in the eyes of God, she was still the wife of Philip. We should be impressed by the fact that John was willing to lose his life over stating the truth to Herod about his marriage to Herodias. In the Old Testament, we read of the Israelites becoming involved in marriages that were unlawful according to the law of Moses. In Ezra chapter 10, we read that such unlawful marriages were considered acts of unfaithfulness to God and that to do God's will, they were to repent by separating themselves from their foreign wives and thus the people did as they considered it their duty before God to do. "Then Ezra the priest stood up and said to them, 'You have been unfaithful and have married foreign wives adding to the guilt of Israel. Now, therefore, make confession to the LORD God of your fathers, and do His will; and separate yourselves from the peoples of the land and from the foreign wives.' Then all the assembly answered and said with a loud voice, 'That's right! As you have said, so it is our duty to do'" (Ezra 10:10-12).

What then is "adultery"? Some today state that adultery is simply the act of marrying someone you ought not or the saying of the "I do's" to someone you shouldn't, and thus, to repent, you are only repenting of the act of marrying someone and not of an unlawful relationship. First, the word "adultery" in the New Testament is from a Greek word which means "one who has unlawful intercourse with the spouse of another" (W. E. Vine's Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words). Adultery is not the act of marrying someone but rather it is the sin of continuing in unlawful intercourse with someone else's spouse. This definition can be seen in John 8:3 where the Scribes and the Pharisees bring a woman to Jesus who had been "caught in adultery" and then add in verse 4, that she had been caught "in the very act." What she had been caught in the act of doing was not signing her marriage license but rather in unlawful intercourse. So, to repent of "adultery" is not to repent of signing the marriage certificate, it is to repent of the unlawful sexual relationship one is continuing with another. Such a sexual relationship must not continue.

This indeed is an issue before God that is full of emotions. Our respect for God's authority in passages such as I Corinthians 6:9-11; Matthew 19:9; II Corinthians 7:9-11; Mark 6:18; and John 8:3 (among others) must lead us to conclude that all mankind is subject to God's laws and Christ's rule, including that on marriage and divorce. That when one is joined by the Lord to a companion in marriage, only two possibilities exist for his ever marrying again with God's approval: (1) death on the part of his companion, or (2) fornication which allows the innocent one to put away the guilty for that cause and marry another. If one has sinned and committed adultery, to repent from an unlawful marriage requires that I "stop having her" who I am not lawfully wedded to. Let us all respect God's teaching in this matter and faithfully abide in it. Remember, "Let marriage be had in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: for fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4).