Go to the Home page Weekly bulletin article archives

“How Oft Shall My Brother Sin Against Me, And I Forgive Him?” – Matthew 18:21

by Micky Galloway

How often must one forgive, is not a matter of arithmetic – but of love for my brother! We must forgive (READ Matthew 18:21-35), if need be, seven times in one day or “seventy times seven.” Not just 490 times, but as often as he repents, I must be willing to forgive. In studying desirable characteristics of the human heart, none is more important than that of forgiveness. It is important in the home, the church, the community, and the nation. According to American Heritage Dictionary, forgiveness means, “To excuse for a fault or an offense; pardon; To renounce anger or resentment against. To absolve from payment of (a debt as an example).” To forgive is to bury the matter and treat it as though it had not been committed. According to the Theological (Greek) Dictionary of NT, “forgiveness” comes from the Greek words: apo (from) and hiemi (send) “to send away, to let go, give up a debt, to remit.” It is illustrated in the Bible example of a scapegoat (carrying away) (Leviticus 16:21; Isaiah 53:6). God’s forgiveness is seen in that He removes the notation from the record (cf Acts 3:19). He forgets, putting the sin out of memory (Hebrews 8:12). God treats us just like He did before we sinned (Acts 13:22). Truly, “To err is human; to forgive is divine.” As you can see, to forgive is not an easy task. Why must I forgive?

God commands it. Jesus taught, “And whensoever ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have aught against any one; that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. (But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your trespasses)” (Mark 11:25-26). Commandments are to be obeyed if we are to enjoy salvation (Hebrews 5:8-9). It is absolutely essential that we obey the command to forgive.

The example of Christ demands it. Jesus, as he hung from the cross, said of those who had crucified Him, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). He has set an example of forgiveness (cf I Peter 2:21).

We must forgive because we ourselves have been forgiven. Paul taught, “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and railing, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, even as God also in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31-32). None will be called upon to forgive more than God has forgiven us!

We must forgive in order that we may be forgiven. As noted above, we will not be forgiven if we are unwilling to forgive (Mark 11:25; Matthew 6:14-15). God’s attitude of one unwilling to forgive is illustrated in the text of Matthew 18:23-35. Note especially verse 34, “And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due.” It is said that bitterness will eat you alive. Indeed, the individual who refuses to forgive while harboring grudges and bitter feelings towards another will be handed over to the tormentors not only in the day of judgment, but even NOW such thoughts are tormenting. To see a life that should be devoted to God and good eaten away with the cancer of resentment and bitterness in the gall of hatred and envy is the most pitiable sight of all. An unforgiving heart will destroy you. Holding a grudge prolongs the pain and is a waste of time and health. “A cheerful heart is a good medicine; But a broken spirit drieth up the bones” (Proverbs 17:22; cf Galatians 5:14,15; Colossians 3:5-10; James 3:10-18).

Love calls for it. “Love suffereth long, (and) is kind; love envieth not; love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not its own, is not provoked, taketh not account of evil…” (I Corinthians 13:4-5; cf I Peter 4:8). True love to another makes us kind to his imperfections, and charitable toward his faults, willing to bear the other's burdens, forgiving and forgetting offences that are genuinely repented of.

The Golden Rule demands it. “All things therefore whatsoever ye would that men should do unto you, even so do ye also unto them: for this is the law and the prophets” (Matthew 7:12). The wisdom writer said, “Say not, I will do so to him as he hath done to me; I will render to the man according to his work” (Proverbs 24:29). Forgiving others shows strength of character (cf Romans 12:17-21).

While all of the above is true, let it be remembered that forgiveness is conditional. Forgiveness was not unconditional even with God, Himself. Neither does He demand that we forgive unconditionally those who sin against us. One who sins against his fellow man is to repent and seek reconciliation. Jesus taught in Matthew 5:23-24, “If therefore thou art offering thy gift at the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath aught against thee, leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way, first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.” Jesus continued, “Take heed to yourselves: if thy brother sin, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he sin against thee seven times in the day, and seven times turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him (Luke 17:1-4). Matthew 18:15-17 also teaches, “And if thy brother sin against thee, go, show him his fault between thee and him alone: if he hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he hear (thee) not, take with thee one or two more, that at the mouth of two witnesses or three every word may be established. And if he refuse to hear them, tell it unto the church: and if he refuse to hear the church also, let him be unto thee as the Gentile and the publican.”

One, however, who is too stubborn to repent of his sins and too proud to acknowledge them is due no forgiveness. God does not forgive such, neither does He demand that we forgive them. To do so would be an injustice to such a person. It would serve to encourage him to persist in his sin (cf I John 5:15-16).

When those who sin against us repent and seek our forgiveness we must be willing to forgive them genuinely “from the heart” (Matthew 18:35). Our salvation is dependant upon it! Let us read again the parable of Jesus in Matthew 18:21-25 and remember that no man will ever need as much forgiveness from us as we need from God!

Go to the Home page Weekly bulletin plus article archives