Being A Good Husband

by Micky Galloway

In previous articles we have discussed, “Selecting A Wife” and “Selecting A Husband.” After we have selected our companion, there comes the trials, joys and responsibilities of being a good companion. Again, God regulates this relationship for our happiness. Moses said to Israel, “And Jehovah commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear Jehovah our God, for our good always, that he might preserve us alive, as at this day. And it shall be righteousness unto us, if we observe to do all this commandment before Jehovah our God, as he hath commanded us” (Deuteronomy 6:24-25). In this article, we will discuss the husband’s responsibilities from the book of Proverbs. As Proverbs is designed to help us exercise wisdom in all the decisions of life (Proverbs 1:1-5), let us ask God what qualities should exist in a husband.

The importance of such a subject should be evident. Our happiness in this life is greatly affected by how successful we are in our marriage relationships. Even our usefulness to the Lord is affected by the relationship of husbands and wives. The relationship of a husband to his wife can hinder his prayers to God. “Ye husbands, in like manner, dwell with (your wives) according to knowledge, giving honor unto the woman, as unto the weaker vessel, as being also joint-heirs of the grace of life; to the end that your prayers be not hindered” (I Peter 3:7).

Let us remember that the book of Proverbs is generally addressed to the man. “The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel … To give prudence to the simple, To the young man knowledge and discretion. That the wise man may hear, and increase in learning; And that the man of understanding may attain unto sound counsels” (Proverbs 1:1-5). What does this wisdom writer say about being a good husband?

A good husband will give his wife the opportunity to develop her own abilities. “Give her of the fruit of her hands; And let her works praise her in the gates” (Proverbs 31:31). She is not an extension of yourself and certainly not your slave. She is not a child. She has a mind and is able to be productive. “She considereth a field, and buyeth it; With the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard” (Proverbs 31:16). Adam Clark comments, “ She provides for the growing wants of her family. More land will shortly be needed, for the family is growing up; and having seen a field contiguous to her own, which was on sale, she estimates its worth, and purchases it a good bargain; and she pays for it by the fruit of her own industry. She does not restrict herself to the bare necessaries of life; she is able to procure some of its comforts. She plants a vineyard, that she may have wine for a beverage, for medicine, and for sacrifice. This also is procured of her own labour. Whatever goes out brings its worth in; and barter, not buying, is her chief mode of traffic.” This is in tremendous contrast with the degradation to which women in the East have now fallen.

A good husband will not forget to praise his wife. Proverbs 31:28-29 says, “Her children rise up, and call her blessed; Her husband (also), and he praiseth her, (saying): Many daughters have done worthily, But thou excellest them all.” Her husband praises her by saying that his wife has ascended above every woman. She has carried every duty, every virtue, and every qualification and excellency, to a higher perfection, than any of whom we have ever read or heard. How many women would swell with appreciation if they heard their husbands say this? Many women leave the home to seek the praise and appreciation they do not get at home.

A good husband will demonstrate his willingness to trust her. Proverbs 31:11 says, “The heart of her husband trusteth in her, And he shall have no lack of gain.” He trusts her in such areas as her intelligence, her faithfulness, her abilities. He can with implicit confidence leave to her the management of his household concerns. Trust her, she has your best interest at heart. Expressing confidence makes good wives the more diligent in their duties.

A good husband will be content with his wife’s love. Proverbs 5:15-20 elaborates on this, “Drink waters out of thine own cistern, And running waters out of thine own well. Should thy springs be dispersed abroad, And streams of water in the streets? Let them be for thyself alone, And not for strangers with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed; And rejoice in the wife of thy youth.(As) a loving hind and a pleasant doe, Let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; And be thou ravished always with her love. For why shouldest thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, And embrace the bosom of a foreigner?” This will save you and your family much hurt and will avoid the awful consequence of adultery (Matthew 5:32; 19:9).

The importance of using wisdom in building a healthy family relationship is described in Proverbs 11:29, “He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind.” So much of the joy and meaning of life that God would have us enjoy is lost if there is not a good family life. As Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 9:9, “Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of thy life of vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all thy days of vanity: for that is thy portion in life, and in thy labor wherein thou laborest under the sun.”