Think Before You Speak

by Micky Galloway

When I was young, I remember my Dad’s warning, “Think before you speak.” We would all do well if we would heed this warning.

In James chapter one James said, “Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath…” (James 1:19). James cites lack of control of the tongue as evidence of the absence of practical application of religion that makes our religion vain (1:26). Regardless of how scrupulous one might be about observing outward religious forms, if we do not bridle our tongues, we deceive ourselves; we displease God; and our religion is vain (cf. Matthew 15:8-9).

The Old Testament addressed this subject many times. The wisdom writer said, “The tongue of the righteous is as choice silver” (Proverbs 10:20). David prayed, “Set a watch, O Jehovah, before my mouth; Keep the door of my lips” (Psalms 141:3). We must be careful to weigh well what we say. “Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles” (Proverbs 21:23). “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in network of silver” (Proverbs 25:11). “In the multitude of words there wanteth not transgression; but he that refraineth his lips doeth wisely” (Proverbs 10:19). “He that guardeth his mouth keepeth his life; but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction” (Proverbs 13:3). “Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? There is more hope of a fool than of him” (Proverbs 29:20). Let us especially be slow to speak when we are angry. “A soft answer turneth away wrath; but a grievous word stireth up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). Let us ever be reminded of the power of the tongue, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21). Proper use of the tongue was certainly not a new subject and difficulty of knowing what to speak, when to speak and when to keep silent is not a new problem!

The tongue is a small, but powerful instrument (James 3:3-6). James uses several very small, yet powerful, instruments to illustrate the tongue’s power. Just as one controls the horse’s body by controlling his mouth; so likewise, if we control our mouths, we can control our bodies. The comparatively small rudder of a great ship determines the direction of the entire vessel. If we can control large animals and huge ships with very small objects, how much rather should we exercise control over ourselves by exercising mastery over our tongues!

Consider also the destructive effect of the tongue when it is not controlled. “The tongue is a fire: the world of iniquity among our members is the tongue.” The tongue is a world of unrighteousness. It aids, encourages, and propagates every conceivable form of lust, greed, deception, hatred, malignity and every other evil. Just like pouring a little ink into a barrel of water, the tongue defiles the whole man. James asks, “how much wood is kindled by how small a fire!” Literally “what size fire kindles what size forest!” The smallest spark can ignite a fire that will burn over a whole forest that possibly contains millions of acres. “There is a legend that the great Chicago fire started when a cow, being milked, kicked over a lantern, and when the flames had wrought their great and terrible destruction, and had finally burned out, hundreds of blocks of homes and vast areas of the city were no more” (Guy N. Woods, page 163). In the same way, a careless word can consume a whole church, alienating close friends and brethren (cf. Galatians 5:15). “An ungodly man digs up evil, and it is on his lips like a burning fire. A perverse man sows strife, and a whisperer separates the best of friends” (Proverbs 16:27-28 KJV). It is impossible to imagine the ruin to lives and churches that has resulted from careless and cruel words. Indeed, the tongue is “a little member and boasts great things.”

The difficulty of taming the tongue is discussed in James 3:7-8. “The tongue can no man tame…” James had already commanded that we learn to bridle our tongues (James 1:26). In recognition of the enormity of the task of taming the tongue, David wrote, “Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile” and then prayed that God might “set a watch… before my mouth, and keep the door of my lips” (Psalms 34:13; 141:3). Peter also wrote, “For he that would love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile” (I Peter 3:10).

“It is a restless evil…” James uses the term translated “restless” to indicate that which is “unstable” (cf. 1:8) or inconsistent. Even though we can never completely conquer and tame the tongue, we should not allow it to run loose. Like a caged beast, it seeks opportunity to break forth and cause havoc and destruction.

“It is full of deadly poison…” Such abuses of the tongue bring death to its victims. Of some the Psalmist wrote, “They have sharpened their tongue like a serpent; adders’ poison is under their lips” (Psalms 140:3). Paul describes those who, by their malicious and wicked words bury, as it were, the reputation of men. Quoting from Psalms 5:9, he uses a similar metaphor: “The poison of asps is under their lips” (Romans 3:13). The serpent’s bite is deadly, and executes rapidly, and so is the tongue when it is not controlled.

“Out of the same mouth cometh forth blessing and cursing.” The perverse tongue is inconsistent. The same tongue blesses God and curses men. James said, “My brethren, these things ought not so to be” (James 3:10). The Psalmist wrote of those who “delight in lies,” who “bless with their mouth, but they curse inwardly” (Psalms 62:4).

Now where do many of us need to stop and think before we speak?

Swearing. God warned the people of Israel, "Thou shalt not take the name of Jehovah thy God in vain, for Jehovah will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain" (Exodus 20:7). “Bring forth him that cursed without the camp… and let all the congregation stone him" (Leviticus 24:14). The apostle Paul added, "Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but such as is good for edifying as the need may be that it may give grace to them that hear" (Ephesians 4:29).

Gossiping and Talebearing. God's law stated, "Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people…" (Leviticus 19:16). Do not allow yourself to be someone’s garbage receptacle. Refuse to listen to gossip! The gossiper is a reputation assassin.

One's thoughts should pass three gates before they are spoken:

1. IS IT TRUE? If it isn't true, I should not repeat it. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor" (Exodus 20:16). "Lying lips are an abomination to Jehovah…" (Proverbs 12:22). God hates "…a lying tongue" (Proverbs 6:17). “Lie not one to another seeing that ye have put off the old man with his doings" (Colossians 3:9). “…All liars, their part shall be in the lake that burneth with fire and brimstone…” (Revelation 21:8).

2. IS IT NEEDFUL? Some things about others, though true, are better left unsaid. "…A talebearer revealeth secrets…" (Proverbs 11:13). "He that repeateth a matter separateth very friends" (Proverbs 17:9 KJV).

3. IS IT KIND? "The words of a talebearer are as wounds…" (Proverbs 18:8 KJV). This is multiplied by the fact that we have absolutely no control over our words after they leave our lips. Words are as feathers carried by the wind. It is impossible to collect them together again. Paul taught, "And be ye kind one to another…” (Ephesians 4:32). When the wisdom writer described the worthy woman he said: “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and the law of kindness is on her tongue” (Proverbs 31:26).

Murmuring. "Neither murmur ye, as some of them also murmured, and perished by the destroyer" (I Corinthians 10:10). Consider the many thousands who died as a result of murmuring and complaining (Cf. Numbers 16 and Numbers 21).

Criticism. Too often, we find it enjoyable to learn about and discuss other people's faults. This can develop into a habit. We would do well to remember that things are not always as they appear. One lady criticized her neighbor for hanging dirty clothes on the line only to find that the dirty streaks were not on her neighbor’s wash, but on her own windows. We might criticize others because we are looking at them through dirty dispositions. Jesus admonished, "Judge not according to appearance, but judge righteous judgment." (John 7:24).

Contentious words. Usually, we can avoid contention by properly controlling our tongues. "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but a grievous word stirreth up anger" (Proverbs 15:1). Remain calm when everyone else is mad. "He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city" (Proverbs 16:32). Soft words often stop arguments.

The tongue is a useful and beautiful gift, but we must learn to control it. “Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer each one" (Colossians 4:6). "The tongue of the righteous is as choice silver" (Proverbs 10:20). "Pleasant words are as a honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones" (Proverbs 16:24). "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in network of silver" (Proverbs 25:11). The tongue, however, is capable of great destruction. Let us, therefore, watch and pray. "Suffer not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin" (Ecclesiastes 5:6). "Set a watch, O Jehovah, before my mouth: keep the door of my lips" (Psalms 141:3). "Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Jehovah, my rock, and my redeemer" (Psalms 19:14).

Remember, "…every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned" (Matthew 12:36-37).