Family Love (Part 2)

by Micky Galloway

As God is the author of the family, he has instructed that husbands are to “love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it...” (Eph. 5:25). Wives are to be taught to “love their husbands, to love their children...” (Tit. 2:4). Indeed, “love” possesses certain identifiable attributes that can be taught, learned, and implemented. This love will also provide the forbearance needed as a saving quality when disturbances threaten the future security of the home.

In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 the apostle Paul discusses the attributes of love that would solve the problems that existed in the troubled church of Corinth. There were contentions and strife among the Corinthians; there were suspicions and jealousies; there would be unkind judging, the manifestations of improper motives, and selfishness; there was envy, pride and boasting, all of which were inconsistent with love. Paul is attempting to correct these things and show them what can be produced if they would cultivate all these attributes of love. All of the characteristics Paul mentions are ways in which love is demonstrated in our relationships with one another. All of these have a special application in the family.

Love suffers long... Slowness to anger or passion; patient (Heb. 10:36; James 5:11) forbearance and endurance of wrong. This means overcoming the natural impulse to just displeasure (Eph. 4:1-3; Cf. 1 Pet. 2:23; Col. 3:12-13). Here we see the state of mind which can endure trials when oppression comes.The churches at Ephesus and Thyatira had demonstrated this quality (Cf. Rev. 2:2-3; 18-19).

Love is kind. Kindness denotes good-nature, gentle, tender, affectionate. Love is not harsh, sour or ill- natured. It exercises politeness and courteousness are results of love. Paul said, “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and railing, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, even as God also in Christ forgave you" (Eph. 4:31-32).

Love envies not. Envy and jealousy are related. To envy is to feel uneasiness, or discontent at the sight of another’s accomplishments; whether it be learning, wealth, beauty, reputation or success. This was especially true among these Corinthians because they were contending over the respective gifts of each other. Prov. 14:30 says, “Envy is the rottenness of the bones.” Paul lists envyings among the works of the flesh (Gal. 5:19) and says that “They who practice such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.” Peter said, we should “Put away ... all malice and all guile and hypocrisies and envies, and all evil speaking...” (1 Pet. 2:1).

Love vaunteth not itself. It does not thrust itself forward, nor take the higher seats in the synagogue (Cf. Lk. 14:7-11), parading ones superiority to others. Here the thought is expressed of boasting or vaunting of one’s own excellencies or endowments. In Rom. 1:30 Paul lists boasting in a number of sins, those who practice such things are worthy of death. No one who loves another is disposed to boast of his own qualities over them. Boasting is of no account in feeding the hungry, clothing the naked or comforting the sick and afflicted or in saving the world. The man who does the most good is the least accustomed to boast and the man who boasts may be regarded as doing nothing else.

Love is not puffed up. This is an inflated opinion of one’s self. Paul said, “For I say, through the grace that was given me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but so to think as to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to each man a measure of faith” ( Rom. 12:3). This differs from vaunting one’s self in that it deals with the very feeling itself of pride and self-esteem. Pride and vanity is so ugly. Prov. 16:5 says, “Every one that is proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord.”

Love does not behave itself unseemly. Love would cause one to conduct himself properly and honorably, above reproach. He is careful to avoid every form of evil. How great it would be if all Christians would manifest this one characteristic of love especially in reference to language, morals, dress, improper allusions and implications.

Love seeketh not her own. One who has the proper love for God and for others IS NOT SELFISH. A Christian does not live for himself alone, but looks to the good and happiness of all. 1 Cor. 10:24 says, “Let no man seek his own, but each his neighbor’s good.” Phil. 2:2-4 says, “Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” Seek the welfare of others with self-denial, personal sacrifice and toil.

Love is not easily provoked. Love is not likely to take offense readily, not easily excited to anger. One who possesses this characteristic is slow to anger or wrath (Cf. James 1:19). A consciousness of the presence of God will do much to produce this characteristic.

Love thinketh no evil. Does not surmise evil and put the worst construction on the acts of others. Love does not attribute evil motives to others. This means we ought to put the best possible construction on the motives and conduct of others. One who loves as he should will not be malicious or disposed to faultfinding.

Love rejoiceth not in iniquity. We ought not rejoice over the faults of others. Wicked men often find pleasure in finding the faults of others and rejoice when others have fallen into sin and have disgraced and ruined themselves (Cf. Rom. 1:28-32). Samuel mourned over Saul when he had committed sin and Paul mourned over his Jewish kinsmen who remained yet in their sins (1 Sam. 15; Rom. 9:1-3; 10:1).

Love rejoiceth in the truth. (Cf. 2 John 4; Cf. Eph. 4:15; 3 John 12). Truth stands opposed to iniquity. The wisdom writer said in Prov. 17:15, “He that justifieth the wicked and he that condemneth the righteous. Both of them alike are an abomination to Jehovah.” Do not rejoice in the error of a brother, but rejoice in his virtues. How much better it would be if Christians would restrain themselves from finding faults of others and circulating reports that are malicious gossip. (James 3:5ff)

Love beareth all things. Love covereth all things, even the faults of others. “Love covereth a multitude of sins” (1 Pet. 4:8). This does not advocate a coverup of sins committed, but let us pursue the course of action prescribed in order that sin may be repented of and forgiven (Cf. Mt. 18:15ff; Cf. 1 Pet. 4:7-8).

Love believeth all things ... hopeth all things ... These two are related. Hope is based on faith (Heb. 11:1) and faith comes by hearing (Rom. 10:17), therefore we should believe all that God declares.

Love endureth all things. It bears up under and does not murmur. Phil 2:12-14 says, “So then, my beloved, even as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who worketh in you both to will and to work, for his good pleasure. Do all things without murmurings and questionings.”

Love never fails... (Verse 8) Wouldn’t this be a grand conclusion to the problems that often exist in the marriage and family relationship? Perhaps we would do well to learn these attributes of love and cultivate them in our own families.