Love Does Not Brag And Is Not Arrogant

by Chris Simmons

I Corinthians 13:4-7, “Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Paul in these verses personifies love as someone who does not brag and who isn’t arrogant. What do these traits mean to us and how can we learn to practice these attributes in our lives?

I like the translation of the NKJV which says, “Love does not parade itself, is not puffed up.” For so many, their life is about them being on parade in front of everyone else and being puffed up like a balloon – the center of everyone’s attention. Both the KJV and the ASV translate the expression “vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up” which carries the basic idea of elevating self above others. Rather, love should prompt ourselves to repeatedly say, “it’s not about me.” It’s not about my wishes, my ego and my will. It’s not about others paying attention to me and lauding me for who I am and what I’ve done. Love deflects the attention from ourselves and seeks to direct the focus to others.

Mike Willis in his commentary on 1 Corinthians notes regarding the words “does not brag,” “The word refers to arrogance of speech; the emphasis is on boasting that wounds others, causes unrest and discord, and represents unfounded presumption.” Boasting isn’t just about inflating self, but on doing so to the determent and harm of others. That’s not what love does!

Boasting is a characteristic of someone is who is puffed up, arrogant, and as we like to say, full of themselves. It’s simply an inflated opinion of oneself. Paul spoke of this in Romans 12:3 where we read, “For through the grace given to me I say to every man among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith.” Satan tempts all of us to think more highly of ourselves than we ought to and every faithful child of God should be continually admonished to keep their ego in check.

Even the Lord’s disciples struggled with this as, in the final days of Jesus’ life, they were still bickering among themselves as to who was the most important. We read in Matthew 20:20-28, “Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee came to Him with her sons, bowing down, and making a request of Him. And He said to her, ‘What do you wish?’ She said to Him, ‘Command that in Your kingdom these two sons of mine may sit, one on Your right and one on Your left.’… And hearing this, the ten became indignant with the two brothers. But Jesus called them to Himself, and said, ‘You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. It is not so among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.’” Even after Jesus instituted the Lord’s Supper, in Luke 22:24 we read that they were still disputing among themselves “which one of them was regarded to be the greatest.” Satan will likewise continue to tempt us to regard ourselves more highly than we ought to and seek the preeminence we ought not to seek (see Luke 14:7-11).

Pride and arrogance cause a multitude of problems in the home, in the church, and in every situation where they rear their ugly heads. They tear down unity and take the attention away from the “body” and focuses on the “members” instead (see I Corinthians 12:14-26). Not only does arrogance disrupt unity but it leads us to think that our thoughts and ideas are equal or superior to God’s will. Paul addressed this in I Corinthians 4:6, “Now these things, brethren, I have figuratively applied to myself and Apollos for your sakes, that in us you might learn not to exceed what is written, in order that no one of you might become arrogant in behalf of one against the other.” Our humility with one another is so important but how critical is it that we not lift up ourselves in regards to God’s word? How much more important is it that we “in humility receive the word implanted which is able to save your souls” (James 1:21)?

What is needed? To be more like our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Paul wrote in Philippians 2:3-8, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” Love simply regards our family, our brethren, and our neighbors as “more important” than ourselves. When there are problems in the home between husbands and wives, rest assured, each is not thinking of the other one as being “more important” than themselves but rather is looking out for their own personal interests. The same is true when there is disharmony and unscriptural division in the Lord’s church. Such only happens when we fail to have “this attitude in ourselves which was also in Christ Jesus.”

We need to be reminded that I Corinthians chapter 13 begins with the admonition that it does no good to do great acts of service, have great faith, or perform many mighty works if we do so without love. Such will “profit us nothing” if we do so with a puffed up and arrogant heart. May we learn to serve our Master with great humility and focus every day on keeping our pride and ego in check.