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Love Does Not Seek Its Own

by Chris Simmons

I Corinthians 13:4-7, “Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

The Holy Spirit continues to teach us about agape love by focusing our attention on the attribute that love does not seek its own. Whether we talk about glory, honor, pleasure, or profit, love directs us to “seek” opportunities for someone other than ourselves. Simply put: love isn’t selfish. It’s what Paul calls for in Philippians 2:3-4, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” Paul went on in Philippians 2:5-8 to cite Jesus as the ultimate example of He who did not seek His own. Again in Romans 15:1-3, Paul wrote, “Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to his edification. For even Christ did not please Himself; but as it is written, ‘The reproaches of those who reproached Thee fell upon Me.’” Love demands that we “not just please ourselves.”

Love does not seek its own when we’re wrong. Love doesn’t seek to make excuses or rationalize when we’ve sinned against God and our fellow man. Love doesn’t seek to “save face” as it were when we’ve sinned by doing what we ought not or failing to do what we should. Rather, love by seeking not its own, will prompt us to humble ourselves and seek forgiveness. Jesus said in Matthew 5:23-24, “Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.” We indeed must learn to “clothe ourselves with humility toward one another” (I Peter 5:5) if we’re going to love – whether at home or in the church.

Love does not seek its own even when we’re right. Even when the liberty is ours, it is not ours to exercise for our own welfare or well-being. To the saints in Corinth, who were seeking their own in regards to the liberty of eating meat, Paul said in Romans 14:7-8, “For not one of us lives for himself, and not one dies for himself; for if we live, we live for the Lord, or if we die, we die for the Lord; therefore whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.” The brethren in Corinth who advocated their right to eat meat were technically correct. But not when it was to the detriment of their brethren. Even if it means we suffer for it, love demands that we don’t seek our own. When Paul stated in I Corinthians 6:12 that “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable” – he was speaking of the “profit” of his fellow brethren and not himself. We read in I Corinthians 6:1-8 of brethren going to court against fellow brethren. Paul states in verse 7, that even if a brother is able to convincingly prove that he was right and his brother was wrong, he has already lost because the focus of each is on seeking his own. Paul states in that same verse, “Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be defrauded?” Love doesn’t seek its own even when we’re right. That’s not easy!

Love doesn’t seek its own when we’re blessed. Love compels us to use our blessings to not only return to the Lord a portion of what He has blessed us with (I Corinthians 16:1-2) but to use for the benefit of others wherever and whenever we have the opportunity. Paul taught Timothy to, “Instruct those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited or to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy. Instruct them to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, storing up for themselves the treasure of a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is life indeed” (I Timothy 6:17-19). Our use of our blessings (our money, our time, our talents, and abilities) are to be for the glory of God and the benefit of one another.

Love doesn’t seek its own when we’re in trials and tribulations. Rather than wallowing in our misery, love should prompt us to look to the encouragement and edification of others. Love will “admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, (and) be patient with all men” (I Thessalonians 5:14). The Hebrew writer, speaking to those who had “endured a great conflict of sufferings partly by being made a public spectacle through reproaches and tribulations, and partly by becoming sharers with those who were so treated” (Hebrews 10:28) exhorted them in Hebrews 3:13-14 to “encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called ‘Today,’ so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have become partakers of Christ, if we hold fast the beginning of our assurance firm until the end.” Love seeks not its own in our attendance in worship as we “consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24). Love seeks not its own in our prayers to God as we focus not just on our own wants and desires but on the needs of our brethren and neighbors (James 5:16).

That fact that “love does not seek its own” is inherent within the definition of the word agape which can be defined as that which seeks the welfare or best interest of anyone we choose to direct it to. It’s expressed when we do what is needed by or helpful to the one whom we decide to love. Love is about the other person, and not ourselves.

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