Love Does Not Behave Unseemly

by Micky Galloway

I Corinthians 13:4-8, “Love suffereth long, (and) is kind; love envieth not; love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not its own, is not provoked, taketh not account of evil; rejoiceth not in unrighteousness, but rejoiceth with the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Love never faileth.”

Paul continues to discuss the attributes of love, agape, “a love that seeks the welfare or best interest of the one we choose to direct our love towards. It’s expressed when we do what is needed by the one whom we are loving. It’s a love that must be taught and learned and isn’t something that we simply fall into our out of. It’s a love of the will and not the heart that is to be extended, not only to those who we have an affinity for, but even for our enemies (Luke 6:27-32). It’s a love that is more important than any other human quality towards God and our neighbor (Matthew 22:37-39; I Corinthians 13:1-3) and will determine our eternal destiny (I John 4:7-21)” (Chris Simmons, I Press, 2-15-15).

This love, “Does not behave itself unseemly” (ASV). “Does not act unbecomingly” (NASV), or “Rudely” (NKJV). The word, aschemonéœ is defined as, “uncomely, indecent. To behave in an ugly, indecent, unseemly or unbecoming manner (I Corinthians 13:5)” (The Complete Word Study Dictionary: New Testament). “Things that look right” are important. Love would cause one to conduct himself properly and honorably, above reproach. How great it would be if all Christians would manifest this one characteristic of love in language, morals, dress, and all its implications.

Language. Jesus rebuked the Pharisees with these stinging words, “Ye offspring of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? FOR OUT OF THE ABUNDANCE OF THE HEART THE MOUTH SPEAKETH. The good man out of his good treasure bringeth forth good things: and the evil man out of his evil treasure bringeth forth evil things. And I say unto you, that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned” (Matthew 12:34-37). James cautioned, “YE KNOW THIS, my beloved brethren, but let every man … be slow to speak” (James 1:19). “He that guardeth his mouth keepeth his life; but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction” (Proverbs 13:3). James describes the tongue as, “a fire: the world of iniquity among our members is the tongue.” It aids, encourages, and propagates every conceivable form of lust, greed, deception, hatred, malignity, and every other evil. Just like pouring a little ink into a barrel of water, the tongue defiles the whole man. Difficulty knowing what to speak, when to speak, and when to keep silent is not a new problem!

Morals. Morals are learned from those about us. When parents, teachers, and political leaders do not give high priority to how we dress, and impress and encourage sexual freedom by our own lives and conduct, how can we expect children to mature with proper respect for righteous living? When parents approve and often provide contraceptives for their children, or provide freedom of the bedroom for their children and their dates, or when parents speak of their “affairs” as being “only natural,” we are encouraging loose morals among young people and setting the stage for tragedy to occur. Fathers are charged to bring up their children in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4 KJV). What are we thinking about when we permit our children to dress immodestly and participate in questionable activity in questionable environments? What happened to the desire to maintain things honorable in the sight of all men? God still says, “Let marriage be had in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: for fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Hebrews 13:4). There is indeed a struggle between right and wrong, the lust of the flesh verses the fruit of the spirit (cf. Galatians 5:17). Paul said, “they who practice such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God” (verse 21). Some have given themselves over completely to the lusts of the flesh and mind, while others are striving to bring every thought into captivity to Christ (II Corinthians 10:5). To be more specific, there was a time when we were shocked when someone was divorced and it was a shame for two people to be living under the same roof who were not husband and wife. To speak of such things as “petting,” now requires a definition: “kissing, caressing, and other sexual activity between partners that does not involve sexual intercourse” (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/petting?s=t). That has become the accepted norm. Some have become so decadent human beings “exploring their sexuality” and being “confused about their gender,” they have “exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshipped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. For this cause God gave them up unto vile passions: for their women changed the natural use into that which is against nature: and likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another, men with men working unseemliness, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was due” (Romans 1:25-27).

Dress. Sometime ago I received a summons for jury duty that included the instructions, “Dress respectfully – business casual attire is suggested. Do not wear shorts, halter or tank tops, clothing that exposes the midriff, beachwear, sandals, or clothing with inappropriate graphics, logos or wordings” (http://www.lacourt.org/division/jury/JR0039.aspx). Does the Superior Court of California, County of Los Angeles, know something about unseemly behavior and respect that we don’t? The promiscuous woman who set a trap for the “simple” young man “void of understanding” knew what kind of clothing would entice her victim. She met him wearing “the attire of a harlot” (Proverbs 7:10). Lasciviousness is a sin (Galatians 5:19). It “denotes excesses, licentiousness, absence of restraint, indecency, wantonness … The prominent idea is shameless conduct” (Vine). “Unseemly” aschemonéœ is defined as, “uncomely, indecent” (see above). When one either carelessly or callously displays their body in such a way to invite and provoke lasciviousness, they commit sin and share a responsibility in sin committed by others. Paul wrote, “I want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety … appropriate for women who profess to worship God” (I Timothy 2:9,10 NIV). Let us give appropriate attention to how we dress.

Love behaves seemly. It means to conduct oneself properly, gracefully, or in a manner above reproach, decent, and without shame. Albert Barns says, “Love seeks that which is proper or becoming in the circumstances and relations of life in which we are placed. It prompts to the due respect for superiors, producing veneration and respect for their opinions; and it prompts to a proper regard for inferiors, not despising their rank, their poverty, their dress, their dwellings, their pleasures, their views of happiness; it prompts to the due observance of all the ‘relations’ of life, as those of a husband, wife, parent, child, brother, sister, son, daughter, and produces a proper conduct and deportment in all these relations. The proper idea of the phrase is, that it prompts to all that is fit and becoming in life; and would save from all that is unfit and unbecoming … What a change would be produced if, under the influence of that love, nothing should be said or done in the various relations of life but what would be ‘seemly, fit, and decent!’ And what a happy influence would the prevalence of this love have on the contact of mankind!”

Apparently some in Corinth were simply rude and indecent. They needed to learn some manners, to be polite, respectful, and courteous to others.