Wisdom And The Family

by Micky Galloway

There is a great need for wisdom in our society today, especially in our families. Lack of wisdom is destroying the lives of many young people, and making fools out of some who are older. Marriages are destroyed, children are lost and souls are doomed for eternity. The reason is foolish decisions. Christians are to, “Look therefore carefully how ye walk, not as unwise, but as wise; redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is” (Ephesians 5:15-17). Far too many are wasting precious time, their lives and the lives of their children by failing to exercise wisdom in their family life. The Word of God equips man for every good work (II Timothy 3:16-17). It is only natural to assume that it provides us with sound advice concerning our families. The book of Proverbs is designed to make a person wise! To learn how to act wisely, righteously and to treat others with fairness. To give the ignorant, common sense, the young, sound advice and even the “man of understanding” more wisdom (Proverbs 1:1-6).

As we seek for wisdom in being good husbands, wives, parents and children, we should keep in mind two things. (1) Life is short. The Psalmist explains, “The days of our years are threescore years and ten, or even by reason of strength fourscore years; yet is their pride but labor and sorrow; for it is soon gone, and we fly away” (Psalms 90:10). (2) There are some things we do only once. Time is gone and opportunity is no more. Our eternal existence is greatly influenced by the decisions we make during this short life. It is imperative, then, that we not waste our time through rash and foolish choices. Often these decisions make this life miserable, but more importantly they jeopardize our eternal destiny and that of our families. Life is too short and families grow too fast for us to waste time trying to rear a family through “trial and error.”

The “wisdom of the world” says that the most important things in providing for a family are the “necessities” of life such as food, clothing and shelter. Others would consider providing the “luxuries” that parents never had, perhaps the “things” and “entertainment” that parents could never afford. Still others consider among the most important things, providing a good “education” for their children, so they can also be affluent. Though these things may have some merit, they are not the most important. The book of Proverbs teaches us where the emphasis should be.

“Better is little, with the fear of Jehovah, Than great treasure and trouble therewith” (Proverbs 15:16). Instilling a “fear of Jehovah” is much more important than riches in providing for your family. One of the greatest ways to do this is through your own example of a deep and abiding respect for the Lord. The “fear of Jehovah” provides many things. It provides the beginning of knowledge. “The fear of Jehovah is the beginning of knowledge; (But) the foolish despise wisdom and instruction” (Proverbs 1:7). It is the means to avoid sin. “By mercy and truth iniquity is atoned for; And by the fear of Jehovah men depart from evil” (Proverbs 16:6). It is also the key to true wealth. “The reward of humility (and) the fear of Jehovah (Is) riches, and honor, and life” (Proverbs 22:4). The mother cannot be free from sharing the responsibility of teaching children “the fear of Jehovah,” but the first duty is placed on the father as head of the family. “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4 KJV). How can he bring his children up in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4), if he does not know what that means? The “fear of the Lord” then, is perhaps the most important “provision” that one can give to his family.

“Better is a dinner of herbs, where love is, Than a stalled ox and hatred therewith” (Proverbs 15:17). Providing an environment where love reigns is far more important than providing material abundance. Husbands are commanded to, “love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it … to love their own wives as their own bodies” (Ephesians 5:25-29). Wives are taught to “love their husbands, to love their children, (to be) sober-minded, chaste, workers at home, kind, being in subjection to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed” (Titus 2:4-5). The attributes of this love are found in I Corinthians 13:4-8, “Love suffereth long, (and) is kind; love envieth not; love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not its own, is not provoked, taketh not account of evil; rejoiceth not in unrighteousness, but rejoiceth with the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Love never faileth.”

“Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, Than a house full of feasting with strife” (Proverbs 17:1). Providing a peaceful and tranquil family life is more important than wealth. Where there is fighting and fussing, what is the value of wealth? Wise wives and mothers learn, “It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, Than with a contentious woman in a wide house.” “It is better to dwell in a desert land, Than with a contentious and fretful woman” (Proverbs 21:9; 21:19). A wise father also learns, “(As) coals are to hot embers, and wood to fire, So is a contentious man to inflame strife” (Proverbs 26:21). There is a time to “keep silence” (Ecclesiastes 3:7). A wise father (or mother) realizes that spiritual provisions are more important than material ones. Troubled children come from troubled homes. The world doesn’t get it, but the Bible teaches, that there is a wisdom that “is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where jealousy and faction are, there is confusion and every vile deed. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without variance, without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace for them that make peace” (James 3:15-18). Let us do our part to see to it that our family lives in peace.

Since so much of our happiness or lack of it is affected by our family life, we should want to take advantage of the wisdom of God to make it happy.