The Home (Part I)

by Micky Galloway

The home is the oldest social institution and it is God’s first nursery, the ultimate foundation for orderly society. If God’s will is followed, it will promote the happiness of all. In the home there are varied relationships, each of which has divinely ordained responsibilities. The family will be as God designed it when each member fulfills the functions and duties that God placed upon them. Discord and trouble comes when someone in the family steps out of place. The basic family unit being the husband-wife relationship, each partner in marriage should always seek to know and practice God’s will toward each other. This is also true in the parent-child relationship and includes every facet of every relationship of man if he is to find the success and joy which his creator desires for him. Indeed, “The fear of Jehovah is the beginning of wisdom” (Psalms 111:10).

There must be recognition of the Bible pattern for the home. The wisdom of the world (I Corinthians 1:20) often expresses itself in sociological, psychological, and physiological reasons for certain standards of living. However right many of these may be in any given instance, they are not always dependable. The wisdom of the world has often been in error. The Bible is never wrong!

Respect for the divine order of authority must be maintained. The family relationship is a relationship of authority and submission to authority (Ephesians 5:22-24; 6:1-3). The husband is to be the head of the wife and the wife is to be in subjection to the husband. This is to be a willful submission. The Scriptures teach “… the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is man and the head of Christ is God” (I Corinthians 11:3). Worldly wisdom can never improve upon God’s order. Both husband and wife are compliments of each other (Genesis 2:18-25). The husband’s love for his wife is comparable to Christ’s love for the church and his love for his own body (Ephesians 5:25-30). This demands that he be considerate of her welfare at all times, even to the peril of his own personal interests, health and life. The wife’s love for and submission to her husband demand that she yield to his decisions in the final analysis and adapt to his way of life “in the Lord” or “as is fitting in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18). This shows that the husband’s will must correspond with the Lord’s. The husband must be conscious of his role as a spiritual leader in the home. His wife was created to be a “help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18), which means she is his helper suited and adapted to him.

Children must submit to the authority of their parents (Ephesians 6:1-4). “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right” (verse 1). While both parents are under consideration in the context, the father bears the primary responsibility in nurturing and admonishing the children “in the Lord.” “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but nurture them in the chastening and admonition of the Lord” (verse 4). Parents must be patient, yet demand respect. Parents will make mistakes in judgment now and then, but age, experience and maturity give wisdom that is not found in youth. Children are to be brought up in “the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (KJV). This demands training and discipline, in which the child learns by experience as well as by instruction. It is in the home children are to learn by experience and teaching respect for authority, good manners, principles of industry, how to discharge with honor responsibilities, the value of selecting right companions (I Corinthians 15:33), and to “seek first the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 6:33). Please be assured my friend, it takes TIME to instill these things in the heart of a child! The pressures of our modern society can and often do take precedence over “training” our children. We must never allow Satan to win the battle with our children.

The family is a relationship of influence and example (I Peter 3:1-6). Some can be lead to salvation by our example (Matthew 5:16). Others can be lead to eternal condemnation by our example. Perhaps even our own companion or our children. Today we are continually subjected to the evil influence of unprincipled living by the glamorization of sin through television, radio, movies, magazines and literature in general. Surely, we must be honest enough to admit that more of this is absorbed than we think. Unless diligent efforts are made to keep such in proper perspective (firm rules limiting such), spiritual growth will be impossible and our souls and our homes will be lost. Fathers, will you willingly accept the responsibility of setting the example of godliness and faithfulness in your home as you lead and direct the spiritual lives of your family? Wives, will you be supportive in these efforts?

The failure to create and maintain an atmosphere of love is the primary hindrance to the home being as God would have it. Love does not just happen! Infatuation may be some glowing, “drip from the ceiling” type feeling, but the attributes of real love are learned (I Corinthians 13:4-8). Love grows, demands time, nurturing and just plain hard work to keep it alive, especially in today’s chaotic, pressure driven world.

The home as God wants it is a place of love, where God’s order of authority is respected, where God’s word is taught and where every member has an influence for good. There will be happiness in this kind of family. Deviation from this pattern in any way will lead to unhappiness, condemnation and failure to accomplish the God-given duties of the home.

Let us lay aside other plans and commit ourselves to full participation in the worship and work of this local congregation. God ordained such for our good and His glory. It will strengthen us and help us direct our homes toward happiness.