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The Home (Part III)

by Micky Galloway

The home as God wants it is a place of love, where God's order of authority is respected, where God's word is taught and obeyed, and where every member has influence for good. There will be happiness in this kind of family. Deviation from this pattern is an expression of disrespect for the divine way and will lead to unhappiness, condemnation and failure to accomplish the God given duties of the home. Someone has correctly said, “Brethren, a generation of noble people is passing from the scene leaving great responsibility in the hands of younger people.” That responsibility must be accepted soberly. In this lesson in this series of studies we shall consider some essentials for harmony and happiness in the home.

Love must abound. Indeed, “love is the bond of perfectness” (Colossians 3:14). Husbands are to love their wives (Ephesians 5:25). Wives are to be taught to love their husbands and their children (Titus 2:4). Loveless marriages are unfortunate and tragic, resulting in nagging, fussing, and fighting. The solution is not divorce and remarriage, but the real solution is repentance. The existence of love in the home is not optional. It is commanded! It is not something one falls into or out of, rather it is learned and practiced (Cf. Titus 2:4). “Love suffereth long, (and) is kind; love envieth not; love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not its own, is not provoked, taketh not account of evil; rejoiceth not in unrighteousness, but rejoiceth with the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Love never faileth…” (I Corinthians 13:4-8). Let us strive to learn these attributes of love and apply them. It will go a long way toward harmony and happiness in the home.

Peace must prevail. Kindness is commanded. Proverbs 19:22 says, “That which maketh a man to be desired is his kindness; and a poor man is better than a liar” (Cf. Proverbs 31:26). The apostle Paul commanded, “…And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, even as God also in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31-32). We apply this principle to every realm and often forget about applying it at home. Matthew 7:12 goes a long way in keeping peace and harmony. “All things therefore whatsoever ye would that men should do unto you, even so do ye also unto them: for this is the law and the prophets.” Confession of faults is also necessary to peace in the home (Cf. James 6:16). Some are unwilling to admit to any wrong much less say, “I'm sorry.” When forgiveness is sought we should consider extending forgiveness (cf. Ephesians 4:32; cf. Matthew 18:35). Jesus said, “But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:15). Be assured, you will never be called upon to forgive anything that will exceed what you have called upon your heavenly Father to forgive you.

Discipline must be maintained. Discipline and correction are vital for the good of children and the joy of parents. Consider the words of the wise man, “He that spareth his rod hateth his son; but he that loveth him chasteneth him diligently” (Proverbs 13:24). “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of the child; but the rod of correction will drive it far from him” (Proverbs 22:15). “Withhold not correction from the child; for if thou beat him with the rod, he will not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell” (Proverbs 23:13-14). “The rod and reproof give wisdom; but a child left to himself causeth shame to his mother” (Proverbs 29:15). “Correct thy son and he will give thee rest; yea, he will give delight to thy soul” (Proverbs 29:17). Eli of old was caused much sorrow because “he restrained not his children” (I Samuel 3:11-14). Consider the O.T. law regarding treatment of rebellious sons. They were to be stoned to death (Deuteronomy 21:18-21).

The word of God is taught. If we want our homes to be happy, pleasant and, moreover, pleasing to God, we must teach our children. This was continually stressed in the Law of Moses (Deuteronomy 6:6-9; Exodus 12:24-28). The consequences are seen for their failure in Judges 2:10, “And also all that generation were gathered unto their fathers: and there arose another generation after them, that knew not Jehovah, nor yet the work which he had wrought for Israel.” Parents today are commanded to bring up our children in the “chastening and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).

Finally, what is taught must be practiced. The attitude, “Do as I say, not as I do” will not work. Proper examples must be maintained. Children learn from examples. Unfortunately, they see our inconsistency. Jesus severely rebuked the scribes and the Pharisees saying, “All things therefore whatsoever they bid you, these do and observe: but do not ye after their works; for they say, and do not” (Matthew 23:3). What hypocrisy! Don't be surprised if your children are not faithful in their attendance, Bible study or general service to the Lord when you have not been either. Rest assured, they are learning what you are teaching them. With the passing of one noble generation, let it not be said of the generation after them, they “knew not God, nor yet the work which he had wrought for Israel.”

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