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Being A Good Wife

by Micky Galloway

In a previous article we discussed, “Being A Good Husband.” In this article, we will discuss the wife’s responsibilities from the book of Proverbs. In marriage, there come the trials, joys, and responsibilities of being a good companion. God never promised this would be easy. Again, God regulates this relationship for our happiness. Moses said to Israel, “And Jehovah commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear Jehovah our God, for our good always, that he might preserve us alive, as at this day. And it shall be righteousness unto us, if we observe to do all this commandment before Jehovah our God, as he hath commanded us” (Deuteronomy 6:24-25). Proverbs is a book designed to give us wisdom in all the decisions of life (cf. Proverbs 1:1-5). According to God’s book of wisdom, what is involved in being a good wife? Perhaps there is no better text than Proverbs 31:10-31. “A worthy woman who can find? For her price is far above rubies …”

A good wife must be trustworthy and dependable. “The heart of her husband trusteth in her, And he shall have no lack of gain” (Proverbs 31:11). It would be unimaginable to be married to someone you couldn’t trust! The husband can safely entrust her with income, home, children, and all that is necessary to their marriage. She will not squander these precious things, but use them in a manner that benefits them both.

A good wife must be filled with an enduring love for her husband. “She doeth him good and not evil all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:12). She is devoted to doing her husband good all the days of her life. The depth of hurt cannot be explained when a wife does evil to her husband. Marriage is a lifetime commitment of love. Unfortunately, many forget the vows, the promises they have made to each other. When difficulty begins to put a strain on their marriage, they conclude this marriage was a mistake. Read: Ecclesiastes 5:4-6, “When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou vowest. Better is it that thou shouldest not vow , than that thou shouldest vow and not pay. Suffer not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin; neither say thou before the angel, that it was an error: wherefore should God be angry at thy voice, and destroy the work of thy hands?”

A good wife must develop some practical skills. Some know nothing about sewing and cooking before their marriage. Proverbs 31:13 says, “She seeketh wool and flax, And worketh willingly with her hands.” Proverbs 31:21-22 says, “She is not afraid of the snow for her household; For all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh for herself carpets of tapestry; Her clothing is fine linen and purple.” Proverbs 31:14-15 says, “She is like the merchant-ships; She bringeth her bread from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, And giveth food to her household, And their task to her maidens.” She diligently sees to the needs of her family. “She looketh well to the ways of her household, And eateth not the bread of idleness” (Proverbs 31:27). While some might oppose these domestic responsibilities, this is simply what the Bible says.

A good wife is described as one who is industrious. Proverbs 31:16-19 says, “She considereth a field, and buyeth it; With the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, And maketh strong her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is profitable: Her lamp goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the distaff, And her hands hold the spindle.” Also, Proverbs 31:24 describes her, “She maketh linen garments and selleth them, And delivereth girdles unto the merchant.” A good wife is not one who is so incompetent that she cannot make a decision without her husband’s direction. Some husbands do not know what they have in a good wife who will work. This often raises a question, “Can a good wife or mother work outside the home?” Evidently so, this virtuous woman did. She bought land and worked it. She made clothing and sold them. In answering this question, we need to ask, “Can she do it without neglecting her responsibilities as a good wife and mother” (I Timothy 5:14; Titus 2:4-5)? Some find it impossible to do this without making a choice to neglect these God given responsibilities in favor of the public work place. Many useful studies show consistently that intelligence, competence, and creativity develop best when a young child has plenty of stimulating things to do and a mother nearby to keep feeding him appropriate words almost continually (cf. Deuteronomy 6:4-9). In the home, there is no substitute for a good mother.

A good wife is compassionate. She is not selfish. “She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; Yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy” (Proverbs 31:20).

A good wife is concerned about character. Proverbs 31:25, “Strength and dignity are her clothing.” When one’s emphasis is on the outward adorning, more that the inward adorning, there is a problem. The apostle Peter stressed this in I Peter 3:3-4.

A good wife speaks words of wisdom and kindness. “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; And the law of kindness is on her tongue” (Proverbs 31:26). How many marriages and lives have been destroyed by the cruelty of the tongue speaking corrupt words that can never be taken back? Cruel words hurt! These words often torment for a lifetime. To be contentious and hateful will make a husband not want to be around. Proverbs 21:9, 19, “It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, Than with a contentious woman in a wide house … It is better to dwell in a desert land, than with a contentious and fretful woman.”

A good wife is one who fears the Lord and wants to go to heaven more than anything else. Proverbs 31:30 declares, “Grace is deceitful, and beauty is vain; (But) a woman that feareth Jehovah, she shall be praised.” “Her children rise up, and call her blessed; Her husband (also), and he praiseth her, (saying): Many daughters have done worthily, But thou excellest them all” (Proverbs 31:28-29). What woman would not appreciate such praise. Indeed, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, And obtaineth favor of Jehovah” (Proverbs 18:22).

The Book of Proverbs is a fascinating book. Among many other areas of life, it helps us to know the importance of using wisdom in building a healthy family.

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